Farm House

My name is Adelaide. I am a UN volunteer and a temp. I do not have a permanent job as I do not like the idea of being stuck in one place. Since I was a child, I am used to being here and there, as my parents were social workers and are assigned in different places every 3 years. Most kids hate it, but I love it. Maybe it is all I know, but this is me. I love everything about my life. I never felt lonely or dissatisfied. I find myself very selfish, to be honest. Why is that? Because I love helping people and I love how I can make them happy in a little way. I am happy when I help people. Helping people should be a selfless act. But for me, it is my happiness. Seeing people smile, makes me happy. Sometimes, I wonder if I overdo helping people. But even if I do, I do not mind. Whatever the reasons, I know that this world is a good world, perfect paradise, full of love and kindness. It is true, I hear a lot of bad stories happening to other people, some of them very much inhumane, however, in the end, I can not help but admire the strength those people have. I, sometimes, even envy them, for the strength that they have that I may not have. This is me. I have not much to tell about it. Except for that one summer vacation, I have decided to stay in a farmhouse, help out a family doing their chores. Besides I am curious myself of the way of living of the people by the farm.

It is where my story began, a story only for me.

The family I have stayed is a conservative one. Whichever place we are, I guess, provincial people will always be more conservative than those of the people from the city. In this tiny farmhouse, where people volunteer to help provide food for those of the refugees, I met him.

I remember the very first day I saw him. We were introduced to each other by groups. Males were, of course, separated from females. It is not a strict place where males and females are not allowed to talk, however, everything is busy and we were not there for socializing. The work alone is a lot, but it feels good. Especially if you know that the food produced will be for the family and the refugees. The house being built is also for the family and the orphans.

I arrived with the second batch. I guess he came with the first batch because he was already there when my batch arrived. As always, these kinds of work is divided by group and introductions were made on my first day.

The moment he introduced himself, I was already mesmerized. His voice alone made me listen, and when I looked up, he is the most handsome person I have seen in my life. He looks like an angel, with the brightest and kindest smile. I remembered the song of the Carpenters called “Close to you”, it is what I thought the moment I saw him. In the song though, his eyes were colored blue, but Jiro’s eyes (his name is Jiro by the way), were of chocolate brown, and it turns to gold when the sunlight hits his eyes. How else can I describe him? He is tall and suntanned. His body looks lean and healthy as it seemed that he had been working at this farm for weeks. At that moment (I hope I was not drooling much) because all I can think about is that I can almost swear, that he was an angel who came down from heaven to help the human beings. He became tan from hard work. He has a chocolate brown hair color (the same as his eyes) which is messy and so carefree. I keep thinking everything about him is chocolate, then I realized I might have been hungry.

The moment I met his gaze, it felt like time already froze. I feel like I know him. It was just a second, but something is different. I can’t explain, however, something is there. It was like energy. Was it sparks? I am not sure because sparks are felt when you have a conversation with a person (at least that is what they say). We haven’t spoken at that moment and yet, it felt like we did. And when he smiled at me, I felt my heart flutter and my stomach rumble (not loudly I hope).

At that moment, I could not explain what I am feeling. All I know is that in all my travels, I have not been this mesmerized with a boy before. Sure I had crushes, even had an unrequited love, yet this feeling is just so different. There are these tingling sensations I could not explain.

I haven’t thought about boys much or being in a relationship. My first priority was always helping others. I figured these things come later and automatically and I thought I would always know what to do and how to handle it… But…. a very big but… at this very minute… it is not so. Should I talk to him? Probably not. I just nodded as an answer to their groups’ welcome. There it is again, our eyes met. It was like an understanding, he wants to talk to me as well, just not now. Not yet. Am I imagining this? I looked at him again, and I caught his gaze again, he gave the same nod. Yes, he is thinking what I am thinking.

Days passed, I still did not talk to Jiro. I do not know anything about him. But for some weird reason, I grew closer to him. His gaze is enough. It is so intense… I can feel it from my fingertips down to my toes. Whenever he looks at me I feel my toes curl so I look back at him so that our eyes would meet. Just for a couple of seconds. I smile and as a reply, he winks. I wonder if people notice us. At that moment alone, it was as if we have our own world, just a couple of seconds but it already felt like a long conversation, an understanding. Every time our eyes meet, it feels like I know him. We are both thinking the same thing at the same time… not here, not yet, definitely later then. At least that is what I am thinking. But for some reason, I know in my heart he is thinking the same thing. I am not sure with a lot of the things, but with his gaze and his thoughts while gazing at me, that I am pretty sure.

Another thing that happens that I could not explain (well everything about Jiro, I have no explanation) is when he enters the room, my stomach feels weird like an itch and then for some reason I know he will be or is in the room. It is like I can sense his presence. It is weird. So weird.

Every night before I go to sleep, I think of him and I think of how much I want to talk to him desperately and yet I can’t. The time does not allow it. However, whenever I remember the way he looked at me a couple of hours ago, that need seems to disappear, and with his gaze, I would lay wide awake just thinking of that. Then I would feel it, a strange beat from my chest, I know that he is thinking of me at the same time I am thinking of him.

One night, I heard this unusual noise outside my cabin. I looked up at the window and I saw Jiro outside. My entire organs did a somersault. He was smiling and I did not even notice how I was holding my breath. Am I dreaming? If I am, I hope I would not wake up.

“Hey there,” Jiro said as quietly as he can while scratching his head boyishly.

“Hey” I called back leaning by the window.  “What are you doing here?” I can’t help but ask the first thing that came into my head.

“I am just making sure you are sleeping alright.” He answered back, nervously. He was looking around to check for people.

“I am having trouble sleeping lately,” I told him honestly. Because of you, my mind continued.

“Would you like to go for a walk?” He asked me. I nodded as an answer. He smiled, he was glad I said yes. “Climb up your window then jump and I will catch you,” he told me while looking into my eyes. I trust him. I know that he will catch me. I nodded and did what he told me. Of course, he did catch me, it was not that high anyway and he is strong.  I held onto him for the first time. Every fiber in my body did not want to let him go, he feels the same but he slowly put me down anyway.

We smiled at each other. I am not imagining things. I know him and he knows me. I am his as he is mine…