2022

In a heartbeat, I felt like my life changed! The moment I sent the email of my non-renewal contract, the moment I bought my ticket out of Saudi, and flew here to Turkey, everything changed. The ripples of my decision from that day kept on getting bigger, and I simply love it!

This year had been a rollercoaster ride! The memories I made this year were beyond surprising and fully amazing. As I had one of my daily walks this morning, I realized how far I came from the decision I made in leaving Saudi and coming here. So far this was what happened:

I managed to go back home to the Philippines after around almost 10 years! I saw my family, my father most importantly and we bonded again. We had one of those memorable tea times I had with him back when we were both in Saudi! I missed my tatay so much and I really enjoyed our conversation about everything! Being with him, made me feel like I was a young child again and I loved every inch of it. I got to be and live with my brother, and I knew his family and got to spend time with his kids. I learned how life was with kids and we had some drinking sessions full of laughter and sharing stories. It was wonderful and surprising because my brother and I used to fight a lot when we were kids, but now I believe I knew him more and I feel like I became closer to him this summer. Also, my brother and my sister-in-law made me realize and feel that I have a home with them, always. Another memory I loved from being in the Philippines was spending time with my sisters. I had deep conversations and bonded with them as we get to know each other all over again. It was all heart-warming and eye-opening about real love stories, heartbreaks, forgiveness, and spirituality.

And life here in Turkey, well what can I say? Days ago, I was having tea and donuts with a Dutch, Syrian, and Somali! That’s four different cultures on one tea table! Just the day before writing this, I was having dinner with my friends from Libya, Palestine, Cameron, Djibouti, Sierra Leone, and Somalia. My circle of friends is getting bigger. The diversity I am experiencing is getting deeper. I am learning a lot from these people. But the most person I kept on surprising, is myself!

I am also learning a lot from myself, I am trying to know the directions of writing as I learn to write more academically, I fail and succeed at the same time. I love it! I get to experience all these, the person I am always with, was me! I was alone, I was scared, and I got a bit lonely, but above all, I was brave, I went through it, and astoundingly, I had fun! We keep forgetting on thanking ourselves, and so here I am, thanking myself.

I have experienced a lot of emotions this year, a lot of crying, being scared, being vulnerable, sighing, laughter, joy, excitement, name it! I met a lot of people, from countries I never even thought of. I met people from South Korea, Norway, and Iran! I found a new Iranian friend that I can consider a good and close friend! How amazing is that? I am having my own circle of people who wants to change the world or at least make a difference! I even liked someone and ended up getting over that person too! Roller coaster of emotions and experiences! But profoundly memorable. And I will cherish these moments, as much as I can and be grateful to them as often as I can!

I am so grateful for this year! I would never think of how things turned out to be, but one thing was sure and I believed it then and I will still continue believing it now, everything turned out to be fucking amazing this year! And I know it will continue to do so!

So here’s to more gratitude, more blessings, more laughter, more learning, more of being brave and vulnerable, more of myself, more joy, more abundance, more child-like wonder, more inspiration, and above all, more love and light! I shall keep on accepting and being grateful for this wonderful gift called life, and I am ready for more!