Throughout the entire evening, Peniel was with me. I was really grateful for it. He must knew how nervous I was with Warren being there. I have always been bad at hiding my feelings. But with him by my side, El has this effect on me, he calms me down. The party was a success and he is out there making sure that everything was taken care of and here I am waiting for him here by my favorite spot at our party venue, the garden.
“You did great out there…” Peniel told me while approaching me.
“All thanks to you.” I answered him. “Thanks for being there with me.” I said it while shaking my head left to right. I am super spoiled by him and I am enjoying it. I know it is not right, since nothing lasts forever but I believe in cherishing moments as well.
“Not a problem.” Peniel said while smirking at me. “Are you going to talk to him?” he asked me with a serious tone. That is weird.
“I don’t know.. Should I?” I asked him honestly. At this moment I am really not sure whether I should bug Warren with my unrequited love. Everyone seems so happy and I am peaceful at the moment.
“I think you should. We had our deal remember?” Peniel answered. It is weird because he keeps on giving this serious vibe, which is not his usual aura.
“I thought our deal was for me to date other guys than Warren” I replied.
“Really? I thought, it was about telling the person we liked about our feelings. Or letting someone know that we liked them.” Peniel told me while scratching his head. I just gave a shrug. Maybe that was the gist of it, or maybe that is what I imprinted on him since I bugged him a lot about not telling the girl he likes. I did not answer him. “He is moving back home. And he does not have a girlfriend.” Peniel told me, then there goes his looks, as if he was observing my reactions.
“What? He is moving back home?” I was surprised. Warren is going home. I sat by the bench. Peniel nodded. He is coming home… I can’t believe it. I wanted to hear this news for such a long time. And he is single too. I looked at Peniel, “Well I think he thinks we are a couple, most of our friends are asking me about us” I informed him. This was really on my mind the entire evening. I probably deal with Warren being home later at night.
“Nah, forget them. And believe me, Warren does not think that.” Peniel reassures me. He sounds so sure.
“How are you so sure?” I asked him, curiosity always wins.
“Just” he answered me, as usual being so stingy with details. Here he goes again, his mysterious mode. That is when I decided.
“Well might as well tell him then.” I told him, I heard him give a deep breath, he is acting weird. “But you should tell that girl from work too. Just to be fair with our deal. I can’t be the only one who gets rejected.” I teased him.
“I do not think you will get rejected Caella” He answered. I looked at him. It is as if he knows something that I do not know. Slowly, Peniel held on to my face a move that surprised me and he made me look into his eyes. Those lazy eyes are just beautiful. “Seriously, will you talk to him?” he asked me once more.
“I don’t know” I answered him honestly. Why is it so important to him! “If I talk to him, are you going to let your crush know at work? Will you take this as a sign?” I teased him, he let go of my face but not his gaze. At this moment I could not think of anything else, not even Warren.
“Yes” Peniel answered me. Peniel is right, I have to let Warren know how I feel or how I still feel but at this moment I am more curious about the girl that Peniel likes. And why is it important that I tell Warren first how I feel? I don’t understand how it is connected
“If I talk to Warren, will you tell me about this girl? I am so curious about her. I mean why can’t you just tell her? I mean it feels like you wanted me to decide first.” I asked him. It really kills me that he is being like this.
“Who tells first is not important Caella.” Peniel told me. “What’s important is your decision to tell him. I mean all these years you said it is still him for you. Well he is here. So are you going to let him know or let him go again?”
Peniel is right. I should not think of the girl he likes. She is so lucky since he is considerate. I bet he would be one of those boyfriends that are just understanding and relaxing type. No pressure and all. He does not show it but he does always think of others first before himself.
“I will let him know.” I told him, looking at his eyes. “I will tell Warren how I feel.” I decided. I remembered I told Peniel of chances and opportunities and that he should not waste them. I have to follow my own advice. So yes, I will tell Warren.
Peniel smiled “good,” he sat down by the bench in this beautiful garden that I use so well this reunion night. “But before you do, I will tell you about the girl.” He took a deep breath. He is nervous. Suddenly the chill and calm Peniel I know so well changed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him, I got worried with the sudden change of his aura.
“Please do not take this the wrong way…” Peniel told me, I do not understand but it seems like he wanted me to listen. I nodded. “The girl back at the administration office…”
“Wait I thought we are talking about the girl from work?” I asked him, suddenly confuse.
He ignored my question and just went on “she was wearing this white hooded shirt and jeans, her hair tied up, and she had this pinkish gold butterfly earrings…” he told me, while looking at me. Butterfly earrings, I had one of those as well back in college. I guess they were trendy. But why is he telling me this now?
“Okay?” I just told him, he shook his head and smiled, which made me more confuse. But I will listen. This is the first time that he is talking.
“When I wanted to introduce myself, someone else has introduced himself before me. I was 3 seconds late.” Peniel chuckles, at his stupidity I guess. “I thought I will forget about her and find other girls because we were at college at that time. There are other fish in the sea.” he paused, I agree with him somehow, but 3 seconds late is just too brutal “She did not even see me or remembered me back at that office.” he sighed, looking at me, “but anyways, we became friends.”
“You did?!” I was surprised. He did not mention they were friends before. But it looks like that guy who introduced himself before Peniel became her boyfriend.
“At the beach…. The girl I told you about” Peniel looked at me, he is jumping from one girl to another. I wanted to interfere and ask questions but he gives this look that I should just listen. “I saw that girl taking shower by the pool.”
“She was your invisible/imaginary girl!” I remembered. We had teased him severely about this imaginary girl he said he saw by the pool that he was love struck with. We all remembered that there was no one there but me at that time.
He laughed at my comment. “She was wearing this cute pair of black 2 piece kind of swim suits with golden sparks design” he paused again, that is weird, I had the same kind of swimwear and it is my favorite. “And she had this golden henna tattoo of a butterfly at her…” I had the same tattoo too at that time, at my “right shoulder” we both said at the same time. It hit me. It felt like my heart stopped for a while and I just looked at him. Even the girl back at administration office, I remembered seeing Peniel there for the first time, but Warren introduced himself and I had forgotten all about him being there. Could it be?
“4 years ago, this girl asked me if we were just playing games or should we just hit it off” Peniel continued, I asked him that, I was almost ready to be in a relationship at that time, but I was still scared of being hurt. I remembered I asked him that because of the hints and somehow flirty jokes and conversations we had with each other. I was so scared to be hurt again so I was trying to not take things seriously much, but at that moment, when I asked him I was serious, but somehow… “I told her no, because I know…”
“Warren…” I finished the idea for him. “I was not really over Warren.”
“I did not want to be the rebound type of guy and I got scared too, to be honest,” he gave his head a massage while I just sit there and absorb all these information. “I guess you have an idea who is the girl I like at work….” he told me slowly.
“All these years?” Were the words that came out of me, he liked me all these years secretly. He hid so well I did not know anything about it.
“That last reunion we had along with Warren’s birthday, which happened to be my last night as well back home, I told Warren of how I feel about you.”
Now, I know why Warren was asking those questions that night. Peniel told him out of respect. Now I know why Peniel did not tell me, not after the administration office, not at the beach, not even after I broke up with Warren. No, wait I remember, he told me…
“The night I was drunk, the one I could not remember.” I told him, he closed his eyes and sighed. “You told me… just like you are telling me now…” I remembered it. We even kissed… “But I cried for…”
“Warren” he finished that sentence for me. Slowly and gently he held my face with both his hands as he gazed deeply into my eyes, those lazy brown eyes are teary and sparkly, I have never seen them like that before, I have never seen Peniel like this before. “I know of how you feel about Warren, I was there the whole time. I was there the moment you guys started, even now… I know,,, you will never feel that way about me. I have accepted that. He is the one for you and I am just your friend. I never wanted to tell you, but you kept on pushing me that if I did not I would totally regret it in the future. I never really thought of that because the answer was so clear to me… even at this night… I see the way you look at him, the longing is still there. I know and feel all this Caella and Warren feels the same way. I see him how he looks at you. Believe me I have been fighting myself and your words, I did not want to tell you, but your words haunted me, at least let her know… you said… so here I am… letting you know… and you were not really supposed to know…” he finished and let go of me.
“I am not supposed to know…” I repeated his words. “You weren’t going to tell me at all?”
“No, you shouldn’t” He answered me. He did not want me to know… but I pushed him to… I have so much to ask him. Peniel likes me, maybe even deeper than that and he did not want me to know… My emotions are mixed and my mind blank. So I could not answer him. What should I say to that? I am shocked, surprised and speechless. I guess he could not take the silence… slowly Peniel walks away from me…
Telling Tales, Irin 