Here I am sitting by the beach… thinking of her again… always… Caella, Caella, Caella. It has been years since you have entered my thoughts and up to this day, you continue to shake me up. The beach looks so beautiful and peaceful. Today is good clear weather. Sky can never be so blue. The water is turquoise blue and clear, and the sand is just pure white… with a powdery feel. Perfect clear day. I wish I could feel as peaceful as this place which I have never felt since Caella entered and shook my world.
“Hey!” I looked up, there she is, the girl I have been pining about. This must be a dream.
“How did you find me?” I asked her, I should just go near her and hug her but of course, I didn’t. Is this real?
“I have my ways.” Caella smiled so proudly.
“I can’t believe you are here. I thought you will be running away with Warren by now.” I told her. This must be a dream. “Wait, are you sure you want to be here and not with your Warren? Or is this all a test and then you will go back to him anyway?” I asked her, surprised at my own questions. As if my mouth has a mind of its own.
“Depends on how good you are on the bed!” Caella answered and that surprised me and then she came to me…
I woke up. I knew it, it is a dream. I almost laughed at that dream. Too good to be true! The beach, however, is real. I am sitting by the beach and must have fallen asleep while thinking of her. I wonder when will this all end? When did even begin?
A few years ago, I sit here in the same spot by the same beach. Different situations but always, always the same reason… Caella…
I first saw her by the administration office during college. She looked so charming and innocently enticing. She has this smile that can melt your soul. Perfect heart shaped lips. Her hair color is a natural dark brown that shines dark red whenever the sun shines on them. Her beauty is simple, and yet noticeable. She already made a big impression on me at that time. I wanted to introduce myself then and there, however, I decided to wait for the classes to begin, then I changed my mind and decided to just introduce myself, but then I was 3 seconds too late. Warren took the scene. And that’s how my first memory of the two of them began. I was even there the moment they met! I witnessed the sparks they had for each other. I didn’t believe in them till now, but at that moment, it was as if I am seeing those sparks too. They looked like those couples in a romantic movie, meeting in a very cute memorable way, one that they will share for the rest of their lives and with all their loved ones.
Then by some kind of funny yet painful punchline, both Warren and Caella became my friends. As annoying at it is, they both treat me as a little brother because I am one year younger. Annoying and unjust but happened. I always made sure not to get close with the group, especially with the two of them. It was a big group of friends, a crowd actually. It was fun being with them. I loved it, it was just easier to stay my distance. Hence they gave me the nickname “Mr. Mysterious”. I kinda liked it and so I played the part. Of course not one of them knew the real reason.
There is only one person who knew… it was Warren. Call it guilt! I think it was. I told him. It was an absurd idea but when I was thinking about it, it sounded smart and wise. When I told Warren, I expected him to be angry, and that I would be an outcast, but he became my closest friend within that group. How did that happen? I don’t know. It just did. I guess we had an understanding, I guess no one would really understand me but him.
When Warren and Caella broke up, we had another reunion by the same beach I am at. I never knew that I still have feelings for Caella at that time, because I have been away from the entire group for over a year. I tried hard not to feel anything but friendship with anyone especially for Caella… for some time at least I think I succeeded… but in this beach vacation… I seemed to have failed.
That time, I was checking a girl taking a shower by the pool area… I can still picture it so clearly…
I was walking with our friends… and we were just wondering where she was. She said she wanted to get a henna tattoo and promised to catch up with us by the pool. The girls decided to look for her while the rest of us decided to wait for them by the pool.
The rest of our friends got bored and decided to get some drinks, I was feeling lazy at that time so I decided to stay and wait by the pool. As they were leaving, I was already starting to be out of focus because my attention was already with this girl I saw who entered the shower. Slowly, sneakily, I watched her showering just before getting into the pool. Her back was on me so I couldn’t see her face and all I can see was her body. Her body is just perfect, the small of her back, the curve of her feet and arms were just amazing and her butterfly golden henna tattoo made it even more mesmerizing. She’s got one of that body that is perfectly fit, not the skinny model type of body, but the body that is just lean. Anyhow, words aren’t enough to describe what I saw that time; all I know is that I couldn’t take my eyes off that girl. It felt like time passed by slowly and for the first time, I was thankful to like another girl other than Caella. I was considering to introduce myself to her. But then my friends came back and interrupted my precious moment with my mysterious girl. I got annoyed a little bit. I did not see her leave the shower area, she just disappeared.
“What are you doing?” One of my friends asked.
“I was watching this hot girl by the shower area,” I told him, I was really annoyed.
“There was no one there!” they all teased, and to my surprised, she joined in.
“That’s true! I just got out of there and no one was there but me.” Caella answered. I gave a nervous laugh and they all started teasing me of how I am seeing things. I wanted to answer them back, I wanted to tell describe the girl I saw, but just when I was about to open my mouth to answer to them how real my mysterious girl was, Caella removed her towel and jumped to the pool and to my surprise, she was the girl with the golden butterfly henna tattoo. I kept quiet. What else could I say? I could not think, all I know is that my heart just started beating weird, and they almost notice how odd I am acting… I told them it’s the heat, that’s all. Could it be just the heat? I haven’t seen Caella in that kind of light before. She was always innocent, like an angel. This time however she became one of those mesmerizing sultry goddesses. I believe my attraction to her deepen on that day. She was single then, I could ask her out, but of course, as usual, I decided not to. Every night though, since that vacation, whatever I felt then, I still feel until this moment. It felt like she marked her image into my mind and into my heart permanently. And I just can’t erase it, no matter what I do.
I smile while I remember those things. That’s the only thing I can do, remember. Remember whatever moment I had with her, every small flirt, every tease, that’s all I have of her. Warren always pushed me to tell her, and I always choose not to. I guess I am afraid. Afraid of the truth. And the truth is she will never love me like the way she loves Warren. I can never be Warren. I can never beat what they had. I can never be enough for her. I know she will always think of him and love him. And most of all, I am afraid to hurt her. With all my insecurities in my head, I know it will lead to that. I will hurt her. This is why I do not fight for her. I felt like I know the answer. I know the ending. I am certain that we are not meant for each other and that Warren and Caella are a match made from heaven.
My phone rang suddenly and to my surprise, the caller is…
“Hey Warren” I said as I answered my phone.
“Hey El, I just wanted to thank you for the party. It was an amazing party.” he paused, “I also wanted to thank you for taking care of Caella.” he paused again and I did not know what to say. You’re welcome should be appropriate, or have a happy life with her. “Anyway, I am heading home now. I am sorry I did not get to say goodbye to you,” he said, of course, he won’t say goodbye I thought, how could he! He just stole Caella all over again and so easily I might add. “Please take care of her again,” he said. Wait, what?
“What do you mean? Is she not with you?” I said trying my best to sound as steady as I could.
“Nope. She took leave from work and she said will head off somewhere.” Warren answered.
“Where?” I asked.
“No idea El. You should ask her.” Warren answered, “for once El, fight for what you want. You may be surprised.”
“What?” I asked. What does he mean?
“Gotta go El. Thanks again. Bye.” Warren said then he hung up.
Fight for what I want… should I? After all, what do I have to lose? Can I really lose what I never had? She took leave from work, where will she go? She is clearly not with Warren. Before all my insecurities and doubts stop me, I scrolled down to her name, Caella, and tapped call. Ringing, ringing, my heart is also ringing.
“Fancy meeting you here.” a voice called out to me. I looked back and smiled. I hope this time it is not a dream.
THE END.
Telling Tales, Irin 